I chose my path.
Okay. I shoved aside all my strange thoughts and doubts and everything from yesterday. I'm perfectly fine now,almost at least, I just ask myself how long it will remain this way. I'm burning.
Need something to happen.
I need monday to come.
Well anyway, let's shove this aside again. I read today for 2 hours or more about that folders (?) one has to send to an university if one wants to study art. I just got that "idea" thanks to my teacher. She asked me if I already had started with my folder, 'cause she knows I want to become an art teacher later (but wtf I'm in the 11th year of 13 years.. do I already have to start??). Well anyway, I realized that I have to start indeed. I don't know if I have to start with the folder, but I have to start drawing also different things and in different styles to get better soon or I'll have no fucking chance I bet. I'm a little afraid x___x.
Also I decided to try to use my time more effective. Studying more, doing homework, reading books from which I'll learn and of course drawing.. drawing all kinds of crap, so I'm able to draw nearly everything. I'll have to do more things that "bring me further" and not only things that are fun. It's gonna be hard I guess but I start worrying about my future if I go on like this. I'm kinda happy my teacher asked me the thingy with the folders.. I didn't even know I had to do this. In fact I know nothing. D:.